Category: Observations

Anxiety about death is, in a way, funny. When I am anxious about dying, I am afraid of everything I know coming to an end. But that actually doesn’t matter, since I won’t be there after death to feel sad about it. Ultimately, this anxiety is about something that doesn’t even exist.

It’s a common experience while driving a car on a rainy day that when raindrops fall on the windshield, I can feel the drops falling on my hands. It’s so precise, with the slight pain of a drop hitting the skin, the wetness, and the cold. This feeling goes on intermittently even when I have realized that water is not entering the car.

The other day at a function at my daughter’s school, I was searching for my mother. My eyes were scanning for her when I came across my wife and friends talking at a table. I asked them about my mother, and one of them noticed that I was searching for something in my pockets while I was asking about her. She jokingly asked if I was searching for my mother in my pockets. It shocked me, actually, because I knew that at that point there was nothing else I had to search for in my pockets. My hands were probably acting out of habit upon hearing a word like “find.” It made me embarrassed, and to cover it up, I kept searching in my pockets as if I were really looking for something.